In this post, we look at developing the art of drawing out the best in people, using your skills to inspire others to excellence and learning how to help others become successful.
Develop The Art Of Drawing Out The Best In People
At what point in life does a person learn how to be persuasive? The world has some misconceptions about persuasion. People have attached negative connotations to persuasion and associated it with manipulation. Actually, the Latin meaning of the word is very positive. “Per” means “through” and “
Effective persuasion is a result of relating, not ruling. It speaks to the heart as well as the head. Therefore, persuasion does not make use of force or intimidation.
Know Precisely What You Are Trying To Accomplish
You need to know just exactly what it is that you want to accomplish.
To give yourself a handle on establishing and accomplishing goals, keep in mind the 5 Cs:
- Consideration. What is the needed response?
- Credibility. What must I do to get the needed response?
- Content. What must I say to get the needed response?
- Conviction. How must I say it?
- Conclusion. What steps do I need to take to get the needed response? Now that I have said, felt and am determined to do something, what action will I take to get to where we are going?
Place Yourself In The Other Person’s Shoes
Be aware of the specific reasons why the other person required persuasion and perhaps has resisted it. What is there about your goals that he resists or resents? What need or priority of his is threatened by your goals? How can you alleviate that fear?
By putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, you develop a sensitivity to that person’s needs and can better address the issues that concern him or her. It is not always easy to do, but it is usually necessary if you are to be successful.
Three questions that you can ask before putting yourself in their shoes:
- What do they know? With what kind of experiences have they dealt with? Find out what is unique in their lives.
- What do they feel? Effective persuasion takes into account the other person’s emotions. Once the emotion is identified, steps can be taken to form a plan of action. People do things for their reasons. Not your reasons. Those reasons are emotional, aroused by the ways they feel.
- What do they want? People have certain needs and expectations. If they can see that what you want can also give them what they want, they will be much more open and receptive.
Expose The Problems Immediately
Always deal with the issues up front. This establishes a base of trust, which is necessary for any relationship. Failure to recognise and handle problems allows them to colour issues and create barriers and negative feelings. It creates a credibility gap.
Count on having to deal with problems at some point. Better it to be at the start before they have the chance to fester and become insurmountable.
Be Prepared To Take A Risk
Most people, when attempting to advance a point of view persuasively, become fearful that they will fail and that fear is conveyed to the person they are trying to persuade. Fear is the surest cause of failure.
Leaders have two important characteristics:
They are going somewhere and they are able to persuade other people to go with them. Effective risk-taking leadership takes place when I sense conviction (the cause is right) and when I sense confidence (I can do it and others will help me do it).
Appeal To The Higher Vision
Most people are inherently decent and fair and they want to “do the right thing”. They are not always sure, however, what fairness or rightness is and are often full of anxiety when they are forced to say yes or no. It is your job, as the persuader, to make them understand the human values represented by your position. They must be made to feel empathy for what you are trying to do so that emotionally they want to give you the response you seek.
Know When To Stop
The number one reason why people lose arguments is not that they are wrong; it’s because they don’t know when to stop. There is great dignity in simplicity. It speaks loud and clear without insulting the intelligence of the listener.
Cover Your Topic With Enthusiasm
Occasionally there will be times when you are dealing with an issue about which you know you are right, but none of your techniques can budge your opposition. Be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm alone will often give you the edge you need.
Hopefully, these tips will help you to become more effective at the art of persuasion. Leave a comment below to share other tips that help you put your points across to others.